Most addicts/alcoholics try many things before trying treatment from someone else.  The addict is driven to control his own destiny.  If this worked, we wouldn't need treatment professionals and Twelve-Step programs.  They work and attempts to treat oneself by oneself usually lead to death.

Love and Peace,

Doc Pete, the imperfect therapist

If you want additional counseling

via internet or telephone or in
person go to :

www.docpetetheimperfecttherapist.com

facebook:  allabout addictions

You Tube (for Doc's videos) - the doc pete

drbutkins@gmail.com      (407) 786-1913

Comment (0)

Initially and immediately, once you are out of denial, write the problems that resulted from using.  Get help with this.  Take the project on as seriously as a heart attack.

Love and peace,

Docpete, the imperfect therapist

Comment (2)

We cannot find peace without peace of mind.  We must let go of the past, knowing full well that we have been influenced by our disease.  We are responsible for our behavior, past and present.  I use this knowledge to realize that, if I drink again, I will do the same things I did when I drank before.  It is inevitable.  This is the first step.  I AM powerless.  I return to the past and it becomes my present.  This motivates me to continue to do what I do each day to stay sober and clean.  I do not do the things that create guilt and shame.  This frees up energy to be happy.  It is simple because I am no longer drug-affected.  This is the path.  Cocaine and marijuana and alcohol and speed and opium and meth and whatever all lead to this state.  However, for the alcoholic/addict, it unfortunately leads to slow and sometimes speedy destructive.

Love and peace,

Docpete, the imperfect therapist

Comment (0)

Relapse is relapse!  When we get sober, we must "burn in" the idea that we cannot drink or drug, no matter what.  We are powerless.  This means that we did it for years when it was not in our best interests.  We can't do it safely and predictably anymore.  This powerlessness can be seen in the unmanageable behaviors we created because we kept drinking and/or drugging after it became a habit that we could not stop.  The problems were seen in poor job performance (ask your boss or co-workers), failed relationships, divorces, fights, jail time, poor health or worse.  It can also be seen in smaller or lesser instances such as taking out the garbage beer cans or liquor bottles to the trash station or curb with that guilty feeling that disappears after you walk back to the house.  It can be seen in lesser examples such as poor sports skills, lessening motor coordination and hand-eye coordination, that tired feeling, morning hangovers, headaches, not looking people in the eyes when we talk to them, becoming the "death of the party".  The powerlessness and unmanageability must be seen.  Write the problems you have (had) with drinking and/or drugging.  Ask for the first step to be covered at a meeting in order to see other's bottoms.  Get this one burned in at a deep level.  If we could use safely, we probably still would be using. 

Next, in order to keep up your recovery, use my thinking.  My thinking is that, if I go (and I do) to meetings daily, I work better, I love better, I feel better, I make more money, I like myself, you like me...  It is just logical.  Whe w e take care of ourselves by going to meeting regularly and helping self and others, getting our messages of recovery and a peaceful spirit on a regular basis, we are insuring against a "slip" and also protecting our recovery.  We are practicing what works.  We are not thinking about how we can manage things.  We are turning the problems of the world over to our New Manager.

Relapse is all about the first step.  We must know and care that we are going to fall without our program and fellowship.

Love and peace,

Docpete, the imperfect therapist

Comment (5)

When one has been lifted from the depths of addiction and feels grateful, thankful for this, the ego becomes deflated.  For once , the alcoholic and/or addict attributes help to a source outside of self.  The self can no longer take credit but has to "let in" outside sources.

The EGO is our sense of self-sufficiency that keeps us from others.  It keeps us from the connection to others, a joy beyond joy, that is available for the asking.  It takes away that seductive isolationism that we both love and hate.  Now we can look to helpers to heal, work recovery steps and rejoin the human race.

NOW we have a chance to stay sober!

Love and peace,

Docpete, the imperfect therapist

Comment (5)

Sticking your head in the sand will only make the problem worse as you'll  convey the message that you really are not going to do anything to upset the applecart.  Your teen will only use more.  You'll be making it easier for him/her to use.

The solution is to parent from a united and confident marriage or team.  It is difficult for anyone to overcome the teaching coming from a solid base.  I don't know many children who have that much power in a family.  If one does, it is easily regained if two parents form a strong union and agree on the course of action.  This is the heart of the solution.

Next, efforts must be made to get the help from those who have "been there".  This is the twelve step path.  At this point, the mature direction is to let your child heal and healing yourself by your twelve step involvement.  Do what they do and you'll be successful.  An addictions therapist can be invaluable as an educator and coach.

Love and peace,

Docpete

Comment (2)

Living with an alcoholic begs the question, "Would a healthy person choose an alcoholic?" 

Persons affected by this disease can get relief and heal via Alanon, Naranon, coda groups, acoa groups...  You deserve a better life whether you stay or leave.

Love and peace,

Docpete, the imperfect therapist

Comment (3)

Comment (3)

After over 40 years in this field, I have made up my mind that people who want to get sober and will live with those who are sober in a drug and alcohol free home have a good chance to stay sober. They have a much better chance than those who go to inpatient or decide to live in a halfway house, especially if they decide that they are serious about recovery. We have to do it for ourselves.

I usually ask potential clients if they are addicted. If yes, the next question I ask relates to their motivation. The question asks what they are willing to do. If the answer is anything, I proceed. Usually we do not know what it takes because that answer is in the future but the answer 'anything' is a good start. i usually ask them if they would go inpatient. If the answer is yes, we have some degree of motivation.

The "key" to good quality sobriety/clean time is to keep it going, to be consistent with commitment. Living in a sober house is a real commitment. There are constant reminders and reinforcers for recovery. There is now a chance to stay sober. Surrender to another's way to success is now possible. If I wanted to play 'scratch' golf, I would try to see what Tiger does and follow his path. Imagine if I could live near him and talk to him and get directions? Recovery requires the same thinking and action.

Love and peace,

Docpete, the imperfect therapist

Comment (1)