READ THESE PERSONAL TESTIMONIES FROM DR. BUTKINS' CLIENTS
"Dr. Butkins played an integral part in my recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction. He provided me with knowledge about the disease of addiction and taught me how to overcome the triggers that would lead me to go out and use or drink. Dr. Butkins is a very knowledgeable, respectable, and professional counselor. He truly cares for his clients and you can tell from the minute you first meet him that he is a man who has genuine concern for the addict and is willing to do what it takes to help you. I am forever grateful to Dr. Butkins for teaching and giving me the tools necessary to maintain my recovery from alcohol and substance abuse." John - Orlando, FL January 2009
“I met Dr. Butkins when I went to a counseling session with my alcoholic husband about 2.5 years ago. He is a highly skilled professional and is very knowledgeable on the disease of alcoholism and its affect upon the families of alcoholics. When we met, I was sick with worry and fear, angry, and unhappy. Living each day in fear of what awful thing would happen next, both my mental and physical health were beginning to suffer. When my husband went off to a rehabilitation center, I continued to see Dr. Butkins. As he challenged my thinking and attitudes and encouraged me to recognize and deal with my feelings, my mind began to open and allow me to look at life situations and the disease of alcoholism in ways that would never have occurred to me on my own. He sent me to Al-Anon where I found other people affected by a loved one’s alcoholism that were working the 12 Steps and willing to help me in my recovery. Today, there is less worry and fear in my life and more serenity. I know that Dr. Butkins’ skill, wisdom, and compassion guided me to this better way of living. I will be forever grateful.”Karen, Lake Mary, Florida
"Dr. Pete probably saved my life 7 months ago when I came to him in October, 2005. He has a great talent in evaluating problems and making you aware of them. He has helped me turn my life around and helped me see things about myself that I have been able to work on; he also helped me help others. It is the best money I have spent in many years. Thank you for being there for me." Richard A. March, 2006 "Dr. Butkins has been treating me since I was in middle school; later on at 19, (he helped me again) I had to see someone I felt comfortable with. He talks to me like a friend, not a doctor. I choose him over any other (counselor) because I look forward to seeing him; he’s just like one of my own friends. He’s very real, but not in your face;he doesn’t sugarcoat, but he’s very understanding and kind. He will help you make progress through anything and leave you feeling better than when you came in." Jerry K. April 2006 "Dr. Butkins is the best thing that ever happened to me. I would have been dead a long time ago if it were not for him. I drank way too much and wanted to die. He has brought me through a lot; because of him I can handle anything and I love myself today." Janie D. April, 2006
"Dr. Peter Butkins has provided much needed support and direction during emotional turmoil in my life." Ken H. - Longwood, FL April, 2006
"Dr. Butkins is an amazing guy. He has helped me so very much. When I first came to him I was ready to give up on life. With his help and guidance I pulled myself up. I’m now accepting a full paid scholarship to Stetson. Dr. Butkins saved my life. Thanks for everything." Ann A. - Orlando, FL April, 2006
An intervention should be undertaken with love and a firm resolve to follow through in the manner that it was rehearsed. The script must be followed. The consequences must be stated and there must be follow through on the consequence. Otherwise, the alcoholic/addict sees it through the same eyes that he or she has used for years. There will be bo credibility and the person will continue to "use." Commit to doing the intervention the way that you planned and it will work!
Expect the addict/alcoholic to create chaos via legal, relationship, emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, career, educational, financial problems and then assign blame to someone else. In today's society, it isn't unusual to see a basketball player be astounded if he or she is called for an obvious foul. The 'racket' is that they do so because they want the referee to even out the "injustice" on a subsequent play. The addict will do this but actually believe that he or she is right. 'It's the other person's fault.' The policeman was busy watching me instead of capturing criminals. The teacher let Johnny go and didn't make him go to summer school and he failed also; this goes on and on and on... Expect this of an addict. Then make a decision as to your position with that person. I choose to detach with caring firmness.
I like to think of treatment for drugs and alcohol as giving the addict "an offer s/he cannot refuse". This can be in many forms. One of my favorite is asking them if they can get sober abd clean on an outpatient basis, especially if they are in denial about the seriousness of the consequences. This changes their thought process, moving them toward the reality that they are in 'over their heads' instead of their belief that things are not too bad or things are fine. This can be especially effective after a hard bottom or a hard hangover. Wait until they are not really drunk and are suffering the consequences of the drinking and/or drug episode. This can wake them up. Remember, do not nag or push. Be firm and confident with an even tone and more logical than emotional. Remember, you may not be the right person to do this if you are really attached to their perfect success. Give yourself an "offer". Maybe you have to get training and rehearse this script before you talk to him or her. Buy my Ipod that is on the website: www.stophisaddiction.com. For $99.00, this is an offer you can't refuse. You'll save in the area of $5,000 to $100,000.
Many times I can tell if a recovering person is in trouble by the way he talks. For example, I have seen many people, probably unbeknownst to themselves, be aggressive verbally and need to be right. They are forceful and intellectual, seeming to be trying to start an argument. They are striving to control. This usually means they are not learning but trying to teach, a sabotaging state for a newly recovering alcoholic/addict.
The alcoholic/addict must be positive. Reality has to center around the concept of gratitude. Grateful thinking is an art that must be fine-tuned and honed via constant thought of others and one's own blessed life. A day filled with inspiration from a Higher Power denies thoughts of being "used" or cheated. The mindset of a recovering person has to be one filled with the knowledge that we are responsible for our life. We have "set up" the resentment somehow, based onlust or greed or fear... We have made a choice based on self. Resentment and fear must be emptied and not simply wished away or thought away.
I believe that this thinking and feeling has to be processed and emptied, vented and shared in order to empty it. Grateful thinking and acting can then enter and flourish. Grateful alcoholics/addicts, filled with the knowledge that they have been reprieved are also teachable and willing to change into useful servants, not simply self-centered talkers.
Do they 'mean business'? By this I mean that you have to see that they wanthelp. Is s/he asking for help? Then you have to decide if you are going to invest in them. Your investment must be well thought out. Not only must you think of the potential damage to you and your family but to the addict/alcoholic. Harm can be done if you enable, help to give them the sense that they can use you when they are desparate and not get honest and seek help. If we play God and attempt to rescue the hopeless we do not give them the opportunity to ask for help and do their part. Do not love anyone to death. Do not ask anyone else to take your place when you get weary and afraid. Go to AlAnon and get help for the one in the moist trouble - you.
In the morning, upon awakening, have the first words that come out of your mouth be 'Thank you for this day.' Somewhere down the line you will feel the gratitude and know this lesson. In order to survive and then live and then prosper, we must feel the gratitude and live it. The times when we are forelorn or fed up we must have an arsenal of gratitude. We will need it so that we do not say or do the wrong thing(s). We need not drink or use drugs when we can be reality based. If sober, by the very nature of being sober, we can see that we are very fortunate. We have been blessed with mercy. Knowing this can carve us into the type of adults that can be of service. Practicing this daily will help us remember our reality - we have been given a gift far beyond our making. To remember this we must practice a Way that is both consistent and a great priority. We can be more like our Creator now. We know know that we, ourselves, did not make this miracle of sobriety happen.
