Parents: do not switch enablers.

Posted by: drbutkins in teenage drug addictionteenage alcoholismparenting a teen drug addictparenting a teen drug abuserparenting a teen alcoholicparenting a teen alcohol abuserdrug addiction treatmentcodependencyalcohol and drug abusealcohol addiction on Print PDF

Enabling means that someone is allowing the situation/drug and/or alcohol use to continue by not setting boundaries and enforcing consequences to occur.  Sometimes it involves not allowing natural c0onsequences to occur.  For example, when a young adult or adult gets a DUI and the parents "cover up" the stressful situation that he or she needs in order  to 'wake up' and stop using, the teen knows that s/he is going to be sheltered and protected from the harm done by the using.  This harm, pain and loss, is necessary in order to 'wake up' and feel the consequences of the use.

When you pay a lawyer to take away the problem, you are preventing recovery from occurring.  The pain is removed and motivation erased.  The teen always knows that you or someone you pay will take away the problems and then they can use again.

Be aware that treatment places can take away all stress except internal stress and, therafore, protect the person from the consequences.  This  will allow the problem to continue.

When all enablers stop enabling, the addict/alcoholic cannot use.

Love and peace,

Docpete, the imperfect therapist

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