Parenting: the most difficult task

Posted by: drbutkins in parenting a teen drug addictparenting a teen drug abuserparenting a teen alcoholicparenting a teen alcohol abuserdrug addictiondrug abusealcohol dependencyalcohol abuse on Print PDF

The most difficult task for your child and you is to convince him or her to give up the old friends.  My idea is to influence not control them.  Controlling someone, or attempting to control them, will lead to rebellion.  This is especially true with rebellious teens (teenage years now extend into the 20's).  Instead talk to them.  Tell them, "I'm your parent and I love you.  My job is to raise you successfully so that you will be successful.  I know that your frineds are your friends and I don't judge them.  However, I have opinions and my opinion is that they are using and have poor judgement and this affects their actions.  I want you to be a winner.  Therefore, I do not want you to see them.  I can't make you do this and I know that, if you want, you can probably see them without my knowing it.  I hope you work with me on this because I'm very strong on this point.  So, what are you going to do?"

Be very adamant and keep your position.  Once you decide to take this position, get support and do not look back.  Yoiu may enter a "power struggle" with your child.  Try to avoid this but, if you do begin, you must win.  There are other ways to handle this situation.  This is one of the ways (see below) that is sometimes necessary. Be in unity with your spouse or other form(s) of support.  Best of luck!!!

Think about purchasing my Ipod.  It has about three hours on parenting teens who use alcohol and/or drugs.  This includes power statements and what not to say...

Love and peace,

Docpete, the imperfect therapist

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