Substance Abuse and the Family.
Posted by: drbutkins in parenting a teen drug addict, parenting a teen drug abuser, parenting a teen alcoholic, parenting a teen alcohol abuser, family recovery, codependency, alcoholism treatment, addiction recovery on
Jul 31, 2011
The family is a stable force over the life of a child if they remain loyal and accept the child. When 5 the child will misbehave by not picking up after self or forgetting something. There should be corrective measures. At 15, he may misbehave by using alcohol or drugs. There should be corrective behaviors. In neither circumstance should the child's character be demeaned. Rejection of the behavior is much different than rejection of the person.
When parents suffer from misbehaviors of a teenage child who is using drugs and/or alcohol, the behaviors are much different from those of a small child. However, the corrective actions need to be the same. There should be an understanding that the misbehavior is not aimed at destroying the family but is a result of not having accurate information and, in the case of addiction, cravings. In terms of the teenager, the parents have had to cope with more severe misbehaviors such as lying, disobedience, stealing and family betrayal in some cases. This can lead to severe reactions by parents. When armed with accurate information about the problem and support from others who have been there (Al-Anon), parents can avoid the flooded feelings and the emotional reactions of rage and sarcasm, lecturing, rejection and retaliation. The key is to address the issue before college (Butkins, 1994) when the problem is still reversible. By the time they get to college it is usually too late to get them to listen and the consequences can be life-changing for the child. Get help for yourself first and then you will be equipped to handle the problem with your child.
Stay loyal to your child by issuing corrective behavior, setting boundaries, encouraging, loving and being sure of yourself. When entering the world of drugs and alcohol be sure you know what works and what doesn't.
I caution you, as parents, to address this problem. Do not let it fall through the cracks or sweep it under the rug. If it's addiction, it will not go away! This is your family. Protect it. Learn how to handle this unique problem.
Love and Peace,
Doc Pete, the imperfect therapist
www.docpetetheimperfecttherapist.com
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