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"Dr. Butkins played an integral part in my recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction. He provided me with knowledge about the disease of addiction and taught me how to overcome the triggers that would lead me to go out and use or drink. Dr. Butkins is a very knowledgeable, respectable, and professional counselor. He truly cares for his clients and you can tell from the minute you first meet him that he is a man who has genuine concern for the addict and is willing to do what it takes to help you. I am forever grateful to Dr. Butkins for teaching and giving me the tools necessary to maintain my recovery from alcohol and substance abuse." John - Orlando, FL January 2009

“I met Dr. Butkins when I went to a counseling session with my alcoholic husband about 2.5 years ago. He is a highly skilled professional and is very knowledgeable on the disease of alcoholism and its affect upon the families of alcoholics. When we met, I was sick with worry and fear, angry, and unhappy. Living each day in fear of what awful thing would happen next, both my mental and physical health were beginning to suffer. When my husband went off to a rehabilitation center, I continued to see Dr. Butkins. As he challenged my thinking and attitudes and encouraged me to recognize and deal with my feelings, my mind began to open and allow me to look at life situations and the disease of alcoholism in ways that would never have occurred to me on my own. He sent me to Al-Anon where I found other people affected by a loved one’s alcoholism that were working the 12 Steps and willing to help me in my recovery. Today, there is less worry and fear in my life and more serenity. I know that Dr. Butkins’ skill, wisdom, and compassion guided me to this better way of living. I will be forever grateful.” Karen, Lake Mary, Florida

"Dr. Pete probably saved my life 7 months ago when I came to him in October, 2005. He has a great talent in evaluating problems and making you aware of them. He has helped me turn my life around and helped me see things about myself that I have been able to work on; he also helped me help others. It is the best money I have spent in many years. Thank you for being there for me." Richard A. March, 2006

"Dr. Butkins has been treating me since I was in middle school; later on at 19, (he helped me again) I had to see someone I felt comfortable with. He talks to me like a friend, not a doctor. I choose him over any other (counselor) because I look forward to seeing him; he’s just like one of my own friends. He’s very real, but not in your face;he doesn’t sugarcoat, but he’s very understanding and kind. He will help you make progress through anything and leave you feeling better than when you came in."
Jerry K. April 2006

"Dr. Butkins is the best thing that ever happened to me. I would have been dead a long time ago if it were not for him. I drank way too much and wanted to die. He has brought me through a lot; because of him I can handle anything and I love myself today." Janie D. April, 2006

"Dr. Peter Butkins has provided much needed support and direction during emotional turmoil in my life."
Ken H. - Longwood, FL April, 2006

"Dr. Butkins is an amazing guy. He has helped me so very much. When I first came to him I was ready to give up on life. With his help and guidance I pulled myself up. I’m now accepting a full paid scholarship to Stetson. Dr. Butkins saved my life. Thanks for everything." Ann A. - Orlando, FL April, 2006

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Parent Trap

Dr. Petes' Words of Wisdom

Parent Trap

Posted by: drbutkins in parenting a teen drug addict, intervention, drug addiction recovery, alcohol on Jan 04, 2009

The real Parent Trap involves scapegoating. This is making one of the children or family members or soemone else such a target that the real problem is disguised. For example, in an addictive family, there is usually a volunteer scapegoat, a child or member who uses, steals, talks back, fails in some way or causes attention frequently via negative behavior. This child does not want to see a divorce occur and will sacrifice him or herself in order to preserve the family. Much of this activity/dynamic is subconscious. However, the child is being abused by this sacrifice because he or she will grow to continue to believe that he or she is a problem, a misfit, a black sheep... The parents can stop this by being honest. This means dealing with their tempers, their rage, their fears, their guilt, their pain...

If you want proof of this, stop making the child the scapegoat. Have him or her live with a relative and treat him or her like a normal child who is on vacation. If this dynamic is real, the child will act out at the relative's home (let the relative tell you this) or you will find a new scapegoat. Then you can see this and perhaps start talking about your pain and heal. Then the family heals. This prevents 'relief' drinking and drugging.

Let's stop this in this generation.

Love and peace,

Docpete, the imperfect therapist

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