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"Dr. Butkins played an integral part in my recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction. He provided me with knowledge about the disease of addiction and taught me how to overcome the triggers that would lead me to go out and use or drink. Dr. Butkins is a very knowledgeable, respectable, and professional counselor. He truly cares for his clients and you can tell from the minute you first meet him that he is a man who has genuine concern for the addict and is willing to do what it takes to help you. I am forever grateful to Dr. Butkins for teaching and giving me the tools necessary to maintain my recovery from alcohol and substance abuse." John - Orlando, FL January 2009

“I met Dr. Butkins when I went to a counseling session with my alcoholic husband about 2.5 years ago. He is a highly skilled professional and is very knowledgeable on the disease of alcoholism and its affect upon the families of alcoholics. When we met, I was sick with worry and fear, angry, and unhappy. Living each day in fear of what awful thing would happen next, both my mental and physical health were beginning to suffer. When my husband went off to a rehabilitation center, I continued to see Dr. Butkins. As he challenged my thinking and attitudes and encouraged me to recognize and deal with my feelings, my mind began to open and allow me to look at life situations and the disease of alcoholism in ways that would never have occurred to me on my own. He sent me to Al-Anon where I found other people affected by a loved one’s alcoholism that were working the 12 Steps and willing to help me in my recovery. Today, there is less worry and fear in my life and more serenity. I know that Dr. Butkins’ skill, wisdom, and compassion guided me to this better way of living. I will be forever grateful.” Karen, Lake Mary, Florida

"Dr. Pete probably saved my life 7 months ago when I came to him in October, 2005. He has a great talent in evaluating problems and making you aware of them. He has helped me turn my life around and helped me see things about myself that I have been able to work on; he also helped me help others. It is the best money I have spent in many years. Thank you for being there for me." Richard A. March, 2006

"Dr. Butkins has been treating me since I was in middle school; later on at 19, (he helped me again) I had to see someone I felt comfortable with. He talks to me like a friend, not a doctor. I choose him over any other (counselor) because I look forward to seeing him; he’s just like one of my own friends. He’s very real, but not in your face;he doesn’t sugarcoat, but he’s very understanding and kind. He will help you make progress through anything and leave you feeling better than when you came in."
Jerry K. April 2006

"Dr. Butkins is the best thing that ever happened to me. I would have been dead a long time ago if it were not for him. I drank way too much and wanted to die. He has brought me through a lot; because of him I can handle anything and I love myself today." Janie D. April, 2006

"Dr. Peter Butkins has provided much needed support and direction during emotional turmoil in my life."
Ken H. - Longwood, FL April, 2006

"Dr. Butkins is an amazing guy. He has helped me so very much. When I first came to him I was ready to give up on life. With his help and guidance I pulled myself up. I’m now accepting a full paid scholarship to Stetson. Dr. Butkins saved my life. Thanks for everything." Ann A. - Orlando, FL April, 2006

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Enabling

Dr. Petes' Words of Wisdom

Enabling

Posted by: drbutkins in parenting a teen drug addict, parenting a teen alcoholic, honesty, codependency, alcoholics, addiction recovery on Oct 15, 2008

When we take care of the alcoholic/addict's consequences and take them into our homes so that we can feel less afraid, when we lie for them so they do not have to go to jail or give them money, we are sending the message that 'the world owes them a living' and we are surpirsed when they act on this. We are actually leading them into a way of believing that is harmful They begin to see that they can blackmail others emotionally and others will support them, give them food, shelter, money, lie for them, get them out of jail and other trouble... They begin to think that this will always happen and then they are angry when others set boundaries. Their belief system shapes into a sick mindset that tells them that they can "use" and someone, one of the enablers, one of the 'suckers' will rescue them. When all enablers leave, the addict cannot use.

The enabler's needs are met because we don't have to live in fear that they are in harm's way. We get a feeling of self-satisfaction because we have saved them. This sick, symbiotic relationship is harmful to both parties. It is a false sense of power and control for the enabler and a false sense of power and control for the addict/alcoholic.

Even God will not do for us that which we can do for ourselves. Addiction is treatable by God alone. Do not play God. You do not have the credentials.

Love and peace,

Docpete, the imperfect therapist

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